Download Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, by Susan Forward Craig Buck
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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, by Susan Forward Craig Buck
Download Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, by Susan Forward Craig Buck
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Review
“A dynamic, powerful, hard-hitting book. It offers tremendous hope as well as understanding. It could truly be a lifesaver.”— Abigail Van Buren, “Dear Abby”“I consider Susan Forward to be among the foremost therapists of our age.”— John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame That Binds You and HomecomingBantam Books by Susan Forward:Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them:When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know WhyObsessive Love:When It Hurts Too Much to Let GoToxic Parents:Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
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From the Inside Flap
u the child of toxic parents?When you were a child...• Did your parents tell you you were bad or worthless?• Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you?• Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems?• Were you often frightened of your parents?• Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret?Now that you’re an adult...• Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child?• Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents?• Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money?• Do you feel that no matter what you do, it’s never good enough for your parents?In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents
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Product details
Paperback: 324 pages
Publisher: Bantam; Reprint edition (January 2, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780553381405
ISBN-13: 978-0553381405
ASIN: 0553381407
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
672 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#8,032 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I liked the book...maybe a bit draggy. Good to know certain things and put into better perspective but this book didn't help me! I been on a tough road and learned the hard way and took things into my own hands and the majority played out in the book was already instilled in me and/or I took the same steps but this book might help others in need. Good to have.
Every abusive parent I know of is narcissistic. This book completely failed to take NPD into account and will leave many victims thinking that their abusive parent "didn't realize how hurtful their words were" and other nonsense. Narcissists KNOW the "damage they are causing" and that is precisely why they say and do horrible things. It is how they get their narcissistic supply. They intentionally cause pain, fear, hurt and confusion in order to feed off of us. They wear masks to make them look nice while they plot to manipulate, control and even make you think you are crazy (the term is "gaslighting"). Convincing children of narcissists that their parent(s) didn't mean to hurt them and that they can just confront them and everything will be okay with a few simple boundaries is asinine. Only more harm will come from this naive perspective. Learn about narcissistic abuse, cluster B personality disorders and CPTSD for some real help.
I haven’t been in contact with my family for a year. Most of my adult life I spent trying to be the good helpful oldest sibling. And my father would repeatedly ,after drinking, point his finger at me and tell me how he beat my legs with a stick when I wandered off as a toddler. Not quite one year old. My life was filled with him saying that and other demeaning remarks. He has his favorites amongst my siblings, not me. Eventually it took an event to make me finally leave.I kept trying to forgive him, and the siblings. This book made me understand I needed to be angry, so I let myself be angry and hold he and my siblings accountable for the multitude of times I helped them out, and was left to struggle when I really needed love and support.I am not planning to go back. I have a loving family of my own, so I cut the strings. Love is a two way street, not a race track where you get trampled by your horribly enmeshed siblings all anxious to please a narcisstic father. I recused myself from the family trust, just for my peace of mind. I at least don’t need to worry. How the future with each individual sibling goes, ?
This book is by far the most helpful and insightful book I've ever read. I was always indirectly verbally abused by whole life by my father and grandmother in terms of teasing about my physical appearance and calling me sensitive or saying that I know they are just teasing when I would get upset. I would have sever anxiety anytime I had to visit them since I never knew what they were going to pick on me about. The past year I have finally started to talk back and not take the verbal abuse. Because I've stopped taking it and changed the family dynamic, my Father turned to physical abuse a couple days ago. This book is a lifesaver to help me coupe with what happened, how I can move past this incident, and not repeat the cycle of verbal/physical abuse with my future children. My parents divorced when i was around age 8 and after the incident this weekend, my mother is finally telling me all the things he use to do to her when they were married. I've finally realized that being verbally abused by family isn't normal and it should be a safe place where you are accepted. My mother is going to read this book also since her father was also extremely verbally abusive. I'm doing the exercises the book outlines and i'm amazed at how much sadness and anger i have inside. I've finally let go of the facade of having the perfect father. This book will make you cry so I suggest reading it alone to fully soak in a reflect.
I came to understand my father's behavior was emotional abuse late in life, age 50, when I started to have powerful reactions to how he treated my brother's daughters. What I did not know, until this book opened my eyes, was that my mother, whom everyone in the world loves (and for good reason) was complicit in the abuse because she never told my father to stop. She never protected me and she wasn't now protecting her granddaughters. Let me tell you, suddenly coming to terms, at 50, with with your sainted mother's participation in an abusive cycle was a horrible shock, but without this book, I don't know if I would have uncovered it myself and thereby begun the journey healing and begun to call attention to it within the family thereby empowering my nieces to begin establishing and enforcing boundaries. One of the things that I really appreciate about this book is that the author believes us. She really believes us when we say that we were abused. As anyone knows who's told someone who knows the abuser, especially a family member, being believed is the first obstacle. Most people we tell really don't believe us. The abuse we tell of doesn't fit the person they think they know, so they dismiss it. Not Dr. Forward! This is not to say that she fawns over us or coddles us. It is simply to say that she believes us and educates us, helps us understand why this might have happened and gives us powerful tools to learn and grow, to step into our power. I don't even know her and yet I feel indebted to her for this painful, but very necessary book.
I loved this book. It was sad, but it got me through a lot of emotions I had and didn't even realize why I had them. I would recommend this book for any person that feels their parents are mean, makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel obligated to them and guilty. The guidelines in it are great. I think Susan Forward knows her stuff!!
Wow. This was one of the most difficult books I've ever had to read. Whereas, I grew up in a toxic home. This brought up a lot of emotions for me. Really good book, still if you were traumatized by your parents take a weekend to read it. I read the book mid-week and had to take off work for a day, because reflecting on my childhood. Its a very good place to start on the road to recovery. I have generational toxic mothers and this book actually gave me more compassion and understanding for my mother.
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